comb over

on my swift walk over to get some groceries, 

i happened to pass by a prestigious senior living center. 

the soft pink building is in the heart of westwood,

and you can't miss it. 

decorated in christmas spirit and the landscape well groomed,

this place was almost extravagant and flawless.

as i was in awe of the cutting-edge trim of the bush, 

an unforgettable image was stamped in my heart.

in between the greenery, someone's head peeked  out.

so white, so thin, and so perfectly straight-- 

you can see where the teeth of the comb had brushed over the hair.

it was a comb over on top of grandpa's head.

you might laugh, but a massive train of thought hit me

to reflect on circle of life.

he could barely move-

i guess he was just taking a nice breather and 

feeling the eminent winter breeze (although it was mild-- we are in CA afterall)...

the nurse came out to take him back inside 

and i noticed that he literally needed the nurse's help to move his leg, move his arms.

he was just blinking... quietly and slowly started to look up to meet her gaze. 

it all happened so quickly, because like i said earlier... i was swiftly on my way to TJ.

but i kept thinking and thinking about what i just saw. 

in order to live in that senior care housing, you have to be rich...

i saw a commercial on that property long ago-- and it was costly. 

so that means... he has money or his family has money.

then i started to think WHY was he not with his family?

are they all gone? did his children not want to take care of him?

were they overwhelmed by his immobility? 

maybe he wanted to stay there? or was he forced in there?

whatever the reason may be, 

i became sad at the cycle of life. 

he probably had a job, had a family, 

had a time where everything went well for him. 

or not. i don't know. it's all in past tense.

but what i do know is,

he is old... and alone.

i guess Job was right when he said
"naked i came from my mother's womb, 

and naked i will depart"

as the comb over grandpa is reaching his life's destination, 

he is alone...

then, this made me think about 

two things...

1. what can i do to live a life not so lonely when i depart this world?

2. if it is within my ability, i will care for my parents and my husband's parents

instead of sending them off to senior care center...

to address the very first topic,

i realized this can be resolved in two part ways. 

first part...

i won't be as sad and lonely if i was certain of where i'll be when i depart this world. 

well, i have that paved out.

i believe. i am saved. i am going to heaven!

the second part is...

i need to be a good person.

where my peers, family members, children, 

will want to be around me...

 i need to show love

i need to be as less burdensome as i can be

i need to bring joy unto others.

i guess... i've got to figure out how to execute that still...

hopefully, the wisdom to achieve this will come with time and age...

and to move onto my second train...

our parents birthed us, raised us...cared for us...

did everything in their power to cater to us...

when do we ever pay them back?

of course, all the nurturing and loving came unconditionally from our parents...

but isn't it rightful to express gratitude?

i think the best way to express it

is not when we are successful or earn a lot of money

but when we love them as they did when we were babies...

when they lose the ability to care for themselves, like a baby.

although not sure how my life will pan out, 

but i promised myself.. that if it ever came down, 

i will willingly take in my parents and my husband's parents

and care for them and show them love.

it's funny how an image of a comb over

brought in this long train of thought, 

but i thought it was worthwhile to share...

because we all grow old...

we'll all be there...

right?